| Notes |
- On the 1881 Census for Kensington, there is a Cathrine Kilman aged 17 living in the home of a Scottish carriage builder Jonathan A Ness and his wife Mary I Ness née Mitchel (her father-in-law, also present, confirms the maiden name). Both are aged 28. She is listed as their niece. Jonathan was Katherine’s mother’s brother. All the ages, names and places of birth fit, so we must assume that the enumerator did not check his spelling and that Katherine moved from Scotland to London in her mid-teens to live with her uncle and aunt at 35 Lansdowne Rd, Notting Hill, a very respectable part of London.
Family tradition tells us that Katherine Anne, known to her relatives as Gay Kate because of her sunny disposition, followed her husband Walter to Canada, probably sometime in the early 1890s. On the 1891 Census, Walter (34) and Kate (27) are in Finchley, London, with their son Walter Darling Topping and two servants. Her husband gave his occupation as ‘mercantile clerk’ on this occasion.
When Walter Senior died unexpectedly at the age of 41 in Baja Mexico or California in 1898, she may have remained in Vancouver for a while but eventually took her children back to Aberdeen, probably sometime in the 1890s. Her younger son, Walter Darling Topping, had early childhood memories of a railway journey across Canada during which he came close to falling from the train. Joyce Topping, his daughter, described this incident in a letter to her nephew David Ash in June 2003: ‘The moment came, after 4 years alone in Vancouver, for "Gay Kate" to up-sticks and face the long journey back to Aberdeen, alone with 3 children. While crossing the Rocky Mountains, Jack got over the guardrail on the observation platform at the end of the train and sat dangling his legs over the drop into a wild and uninhabited mountain range. Our grandmother asked (tipped) a negro train steward to creep up behind Jack and grab him.’
Katherine, now a widow, needed to work to provide for her family, so the children were brought up by their grandmother, Marion Kelman. Joyce Topping has written, ‘Kate worked as a secretary in Aberdeen while Jack was dragged from one prayer meeting to another by his aunts, Jessie and Annie.’ It is not clear when or why the family moved back from Aberdeen to London. Before World War I, Kate ran a typewriting agency in the capital in partnership with another widow.
In 1903, Katherine married Francis Wilfred Darley Bentley, hence the name by which she was known to her grandchildren, Granny Bentley. The Bentleys were a wealthy and distinguished family. Francis was one of 9 children who would have enjoyed a comfortable lifestyle. His father, originally from Birkenhead, had been a member of the Stock Exchange by his early 30s and a Consul General in Canada by the time he was 41.
In October 1917, Kate had recently moved to 25 Guildford Street, Russell Square, London. On 10th May 1918, she was living at 41 Belsize Avenue, Hampstead.
From the mid-1930s, Kate kept house for her daughter, Mollie, and her husband Sir Godfrey Rhodes in return for an allowance. The Rhodes rarely came home from Kenya, where Sir Godfrey was the general manager of the East African Railways and Harbours Board in Nairobi. Their house in Crowborough provided a home for their children Hunter, John and Gill during the school holidays. In looking after the house, Kate was assisted by Lilian Steggal, her maid (daughter of the hymn writer), who worked for her from about 1914 until she died, shortly before her employer. The relationship between the two was very formal until the end. Throughout her employment, Lilian received the same wage of 10 shillings per week.
Kate is remembered by relatives who knew her as puritanical, a strong character, and a strict disciplinarian. The day began with family prayers in which everyone had to participate including visitors and Lilian, the maid. The only activities permitted on Sundays were reading, letter writing and walking the dog.
There is a discrepancy in the records regarding Kate's date of birth. That shown here is the one entered on the Register of Births in Aberdeen in 1863 and is undoubtedly correct; but on the 1901 Census she appears to be 5 years younger. Did she lie about her age, or has the Census been incorrectly transcribed? We have no way of knowing.
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